Guidance on Handling Unsupportive People in Eating Disorder Recovery
Unfortunately, not everyone will be supportive or understanding of your eating disorder (ED) and recovery journey. Whether they dismiss your struggles, invalidate your experiences, or repeatedly ignore your boundaries, it can be frustrating and even harmful to your mental health.
Here’s how to handle unsupportive people while protecting your recovery and emotional well-being.
Identify the Type of Unsupportive Person
Not all unsupportive people are the same—some may lack understanding, while others may be outright harmful. Understanding the type of person you’re dealing with can help you determine the best response.
· Common types of unsupportive people:
o The dismissive one → "Everyone has body image issues. Just eat like a normal person."
§ How to Respond: "I know this might not make sense to you, but it’s real for me. I don’t need advice, just support."
o The fixer → "If you just did this new diet/exercise plan, you’d be fine."
§ How to Respond: "I know you mean well, but this isn’t something a diet can fix. I need professional help, not quick fixes."
o The boundary pusher → "You’re being too sensitive. I was just joking!"
§ How to Respond: "I’ve told you this is serious for me. If you can’t respect that, I’ll have to limit our conversations."
o The toxic person → Body-shaming, pressuring you to restrict/binge, making recovery harder on purpose
§ Best Response: Walk away, block them, or distance yourself. Your recovery is too important to be around toxic energy
o Not all unsupportive people are intentional about it. Some can be educated, while others may need to be distanced from your life
Set Clear Boundaries and Stick to Them
· How to set and enforce boundaries with unsupportive people
o Example 1: They keep making body comments
§ "I’d really appreciate it if we didn’t talk about my body. My recovery is important to me."
§ If they continue: "I’ve asked before—if you can’t respect this, I’ll have to walk away from this conversation."
o Example 2: They make jokes about your eating disorder
§ "I don’t find jokes about eating disorders funny. Please don’t say things like that around me."
§ If they continue: "Since you won’t respect my boundaries, I need to take a step back from these conversations."
o Example 3: They pressure you to eat a certain ay
§ "I’m working with professionals to make choices that are right for me. Please respect that."
§ If they continue: "I need to eat in a way that supports my recovery. Let’s change the subject."
· Boundaries mean nothing unless you follow through. If someone refuses to respect your needs, you have every right to limit time with them.
Limit Exposure to Unsupportive People
· What to do when someone repeatedly ignores your boundaries:
o Limit Conversations
§ Keep interactions brief and avoid topics related to food/body image.
o Avoid Triggering Situations
§ If they always bring up diets at lunch, eat separately or change the topic quickly
o Step Back from the Relationship
§ If someone is making your recovery harder, it’s okay to take space or cut ties
§ Example of What to Say:
· "Right now, I need to focus on my recovery. I’m going to take a step back from our conversations for a while."
· Not everyone deserves access to your healing journey—protect your peace.
Find Support Elsewhere
· If some people in your life aren’t supportive, seek out those who are
o Supportive friends and family
§ Spend more time with those who uplift you
o Therapists and eating disorder specialists
§ Professionals can provide real support and coping tools
o Online recovery communities
§ Find groups where people truly understand ED recovery
o Journaling and self-support
§ If no one understands, be your own biggest supporter through self-compassion
· You don’t have to do this alone—there are people who will support you, even if it’s not who you expected.
Know When to Walk Away
· Signs it’s time to cut someone off (Temporarily or Permanently):
o They constantly ignore your boundaries and dismiss your recovery
o They pressure you to engage in disordered behaviors (restricting, binging, over-exercising)
o They shame or belittle you for struggling with an eating disorder
o They mock or joke about eating disorders, even after you’ve told them it’s harmful
o You feel worse after spending time with them—mentally, emotionally, or physically
· What you can do:
o Limit or end contact
§ "I need space right now to focus on my health."
o Block them if necessary
§ Especially if they are toxic or damaging
o Surround yourself with positivity
§ Choose people who respect and support you
· Walking away from unsupportive people isn’t selfish—it’s self-care
What to Say to Yourself When People Don’t Support You
· Reminders for your mental health:
o "I don’t need everyone’s approval to heal."
o "Not everyone will understand, and that’s okay."
o "Their response is about them, not me."
o "I deserve to surround myself with people who respect my journey."
o "I am worthy of recovery, no matter what anyone else says."
· You don’t need validation from unsupportive people—your healing is yours, and that’s enough.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Respect & Support
· Not everyone will understand your ED, but you still deserve respect
· You have the right to set boundaries and limit time with those who harm your recovery
· There are people who will support you—seek them out and let go of those who don’t
· Your healing is more important than keeping people around who make you feel worse
You can’t control how others react, but you can control how much access they have to your recovery. Protect your peace, set boundaries, and focus on healing.
Disclaimer: This information is intended for educational purposes and should not replace professional medical advice. If you or someone you know is in crisis or needs immediate help, please contact a healthcare professional or crisis intervention service immediately.
