Role-Play Exercises for Tough Conversations About Eating Disorder Boundaries

Practicing boundary-setting through role-play exercises can help you feel more confident, prepared, and assertive when tough conversations arise. These exercises simulate real-life scenarios, giving you structured responses to use when someone pushes back on your boundaries.

Role-Play Exercise: Shutting Down Diet Talk

Scenario: A friend or family member starts talking about dieting, calories, or weight loss in front of you

·         Them: "I really need to lose weight. I’ve been cutting out carbs and fasting—have you ever tried it?"

·         Your Response (Direct & Firm):
"I’m really working on my relationship with food, so I’d rather not talk about dieting. Can we talk about something else?

·         Your Response (Redirecting the Conversation):
"I get that diet talk is everywhere, but I’m focusing on food freedom right now. Speaking of which, have you seen that new show on Netflix?"

Practice This Exercise:

• Have a friend or therapist pretend to bring up dieting so you can rehearse shutting it down.

• Try different tones (firm, calm, humorous) to see what feels best.

The more you practice changing the subject, the easier it will be to set this boundary in real life.

Role-Play Exercise: Responding to Body Comments

Scenario: Someone comments on your body or weight, either as a “compliment” or criticism

·         Them: "Wow, you’ve lost weight! You look amazing!"

·         Your Response (Setting a Firm Boundary):"I’d prefer if we didn’t talk about my body. I’m focusing on things beyond my appearance."

·         Your Response (Redirecting with Humor):"Thanks, but my body isn’t the most interesting thing about me! Let’s talk about something else."

·         Them: "But I meant it as a compliment!"

·         Your Response (Reinforcing the Boundary):"I get that, but for my own well-being, I’m working on not focusing on weight or body size."

Practice This Exercise:

• Have a friend pretend to give body comments (both positive and negative) so you can practice different ways to respond.

• Try responding with different tones—kind but firm, direct, or humorous.

You don’t owe anyone a discussion about your body. The more you practice, the easier it gets to shut these comments down.

Role-Play Exercise: Handling Food Comments

Scenario: Someone comments on what you’re eating (or not eating)

·         Them: "Is that all you’re eating?"

·         Your Response (Direct & Simple):"I’d rather not talk about my food choices, thanks."

·         Them: "I’m just concerned about you!"

·         Your Response (Reassuring but Firm): "I appreciate your concern, but I’m working with professionals who are helping me with this."

Practice This Exercise:

• Have someone pretend to make comments about your food so you can practice calmly shutting them down.

• Try different versions of responses until you find one that feels natural.

You don’t have to justify your food choices to anyone. Practicing short, direct responses helps you feel more prepared.

Role-Play Exercise: When Someone Ignores Your Boundaries

Scenario: You’ve told someone before not to talk about diets, weight, or food, but they keep bringing it up

·         Them: "I know you don’t like diet talk, but I just have to tell you about this new plan I’m trying!"

·         Your Response (Firm & Reiterating the Boundary):"I’ve told you before that diet talk isn’t helpful for me. If we keep having this conversation, I’ll have to step away."

·         Them: "You’re being so sensitive about this."

·         Your Response (Holding Your Ground): "This is about my health and my boundaries, not about sensitivity. I need you to respect that."

Practice This Exercise:

• Have a friend or therapist pretend to ignore your boundary so you can practice standing your ground.

• Work on keeping a neutral, calm tone while being assertive.

If someone continues to push your boundaries, you have every right to remove yourself from the conversation.

Role-Play Exercise: Talking to a Significant Other About Your Eating Disorder

Scenario: You want to open up to your partner about your eating disorder and set boundaries for support.

·         You: "I want to share something important with you. I struggle with an eating disorder, and I’m working on recovery. I don’t expect you to fix it, but I do want you to understand what I’m going through."

·         Them: "I had no idea! What can I do to help?"

·         Your Response (Giving Clear Support Needs):"I really appreciate that. The best way to support me is to avoid commenting on my food or body, and just listen when I need to talk."

Practice This Exercise:

• Have a trusted person pretend to be your significant other so you can practice saying these words out loud.

• Try different responses based on how supportive or confused they seem.

Opening up can be scary, but practicing ahead of time helps you feel more in control of the conversation.

Role-Play Exercise: Dealing with a Social Eating Situation

Scenario: You’re at a gathering where food is a focus, and you feel pressured to eat a certain way.

·         Them: "Come on, just have a little more! You barely ate anything!"

·         Your Response (Kind but Firm):"I appreciate the offer, but I’m eating in a way that feels right for me."

·         Them: "But it’s just one bite!"

·         Your Response (Redirecting the Conversation):
"I’m good, thanks! So, how’s work been going for you?"

Practice This Exercise:

• Have a friend play the role of someone pressuring you to eat.

• Work on saying no politely but firmly.

You have the right to make choices about your food without feeling guilty. Practicing responses can help ease anxiety.

Final Tips for Role-Playing Boundary Setting

·         Practice in a safe space

o   Try this with a trusted friend, therapist, or even in front of a mirror

·         Keep responses simple and direct

o   Over-explaining can invite more pushback

·         Stay calm and confident

o   Even if people push back, your boundaries are valid

·         Know when to walk away

o   If someone won’t respect your boundary, you don’t have to continue the conversation

The more you practice, the easier it becomes to stand up for yourself. Your recovery deserves protection, and setting boundaries is an act of self-care.

Disclaimer: This information is intended for educational purposes and should not replace professional medical advice. If you or someone you know is in crisis or needs immediate help, please contact a healthcare professional or crisis intervention service immediately.