How Do I Stop Comparing What I Eat to Others? Reclaiming Food Freedom and Self-Trust

In a world filled with diet culture, social media food posts, and constant commentary on what’s “healthy” or “normal,” it’s incredibly common to compare your eating habits to those around you. Whether it’s portion sizes, food choices, or the number of meals someone else eats, these comparisons can quietly erode your trust in your own body.

For those in eating disorder recovery or simply trying to build a more peaceful relationship with food, learning to stop comparing what you eat to others is a crucial step in healing.

Why Do We Compare What We Eat to Others?

Comparison is a natural cognitive shortcut. Psychologists refer to it as social comparison theory—a process by which we evaluate ourselves in relation to others to gain information or reassurance (Festinger, 1954). While it’s not inherently harmful, in the realm of food and body image, it often becomes detrimental.

Common reasons people compare food intake:

• To feel “safe” or “justified” in what or how much they eat

• To seek validation or avoid guilt

• To manage anxiety about “eating too much” or “too little”

• Because of longstanding beliefs from diet culture, such as:

  • “I should always eat less than others”

  • “I should match what others eat to avoid standing out”

  • “Thinness equals control, and control equals worth”

In eating disorder recovery, these comparisons often signal a fear of losing control, being judged, or not being “sick enough” to deserve support.

Why Comparing Food Is Harmful

1. It disconnects you from your body’s needs

Everyone’s nutritional needs are different—based on age, metabolism, health conditions, activity levels, mental health, and recovery status. Comparing your plate to someone else’s may cause you to override hunger cues or ignore what your body actually needs.

“Your body doesn’t care what the person next to you is eating. It only knows what you need.”
(Tribole & Resch, 2020, Intuitive Eating)

2. It reinforces food guilt and shame

Constant comparison often leads to self-judgment:

• “They ate less than me—I must be out of control.”

• “They’re eating salad—I shouldn’t have this sandwich.”
  This thinking fuels disordered eating patterns and reduces confidence in your ability to make nourishing choices.

3. It turns meals into math problems instead of moments

Meals become calculated, strategic, or performative rather than nourishing, connected experiences. Over time, this damages your relationship with food and others.

How to Start Letting Go of Food Comparison

1. Build awareness without judgment

Start by simply noticing when you compare. What’s the trigger? A specific person? A setting like school or work? Social media?

Try journaling: “What am I feeling when I compare what I eat to others?”
Often, the root is not about food—it’s about insecurity, anxiety, or a desire to belong.

2. Remind yourself: all bodies have different needs

This can be your mantra:
“Different bodies, different needs.”
Even two people of the same age or size may require completely different nutrition. If you’re in recovery, your needs may be higher, and that’s valid and necessary.

Source: Mehler & Andersen, Eating Disorders: A Guide to Medical Care and Complications, 2015.

3. Practice eating without comparison

This takes time, but you can start with small challenges:

• Eat without looking at others’ plates

• Sit with supportive people who won’t comment on food

• Notice how your body feels before, during, and after meals

4. Use internal cues to guide your choices

Instead of asking:

• “What are they eating?” Try asking:

• “What sounds satisfying to me?”

• “What will help me feel good today?”

• “What do I need to feel nourished?”

5. Curate your environment

Unfollow social media accounts that:

• Promote “what I eat in a day” content

• Focus on aesthetics over authenticity

• Make you feel “less than” for eating normally

Follow accounts that:

• Support body diversity

• Promote intuitive eating

• Normalize eating for pleasure and fuel

Resources to follow:

• @thebodylovesociety

• @dietitiananna

• @find.food.freedom

• @jennifer_rollin

6. Work with a dietitian or therapist

A professional trained in eating disorders or intuitive eating can help you:

• Challenge internalized food rules

• Build self-trust

• Heal the underlying beliefs that drive comparison

What If I Still Struggle?

You’re not failing if comparison thoughts still show up—they’re learned habits, often shaped by trauma, culture, or past restriction. Unlearning them takes time, consistency, and self-compassion.

When you catch yourself comparing, pause and say:

“I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m learning how to trust myself again.”

That alone is an act of healing.

Final Thought

You don’t need someone else’s plate to justify your own. Your body is not in competition with anyone else’s, and your recovery doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s either.

Letting go of food comparison is not about eating perfectly—it’s about eating freely, intuitively, and with the belief that you are allowed to nourish yourself without permission or apology.

References

• Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140.

• Tribole, E., & Resch, E. (2020). Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Anti-Diet Approach (4th ed.).

• Mehler, P. S., & Andersen, A. E. (2015). Eating Disorders: A Guide to Medical Care and Complications. Johns Hopkins University Press.

• Puhl, R. M., & Heuer, C. A. (2010). Obesity stigma: Important considerations for public health. American Journal of Public Health, 100(6), 1019–1028.

• Tylka, T. L., & Kroon Van Diest, A. M. (2013). The Intuitive Eating Scale–2: Testing the factor structure and reliability. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 60(1), 137–153.