Script: Communicating Meal Needs with a Caregiver in Eating Disorder Recovery

urpose: To help your caregiver understand how to support you at meals — without judgment, conflict, or assumptions.

STARTER SCRIPT:

"Hey [Caregiver’s Name], can I talk to you for a few minutes about something important? I know this might feel awkward or new, but I want to be open with you because I’m working hard on my recovery."

"Meals are one of the hardest parts for me right now. Even if I don’t always show it, sitting down to eat — and the thoughts that come with it — can feel really overwhelming."

"I’m trying to be more honest about what I need, and I think your support could make this process more manageable. Would it be okay if I shared a few things that might help during meals?"

SPECIFIC REQUESTS (Choose What Fits You):

• "It helps when meals are structured and consistent — like eating around the same time each day."

• "If you’re preparing food, I’d prefer not to know all the ingredients or portion sizes unless I ask."

• "During meals, it helps if we can avoid talking about food, bodies, diets, or weight — mine or anyone else’s."

• "If I’m struggling to finish something, I’d rather hear encouragement like ‘I know this is hard, and I believe in you’ instead of being told to just eat it."

• "If I start engaging in rituals or look like I’m zoning out, a gentle reminder like ‘Let’s stay present’ could be helpful."

• "Please try not to comment on what or how much I’m eating — even if it’s meant as reassurance."

• "After meals, I might need a distraction or check-in. Things like watching a show, walking, or just talking can help me avoid urges."

REASSURANCE & GRATITUDE:

"I know this might be new for you too, and I don’t expect you to do everything perfectly. I’m learning, and I appreciate you being willing to learn with me."

"Just knowing I don’t have to do this alone makes a huge difference."

CLOSING:

"Thanks for listening — and for showing up for me. If you ever want to ask questions about what’s helpful or not, I’m open to that too. This is a process for both of us."

Tips for Making It Your Own:

• Write down your top 2–3 needs to keep things focused

• Use “I statements” to express needs without blame (e.g., “I feel anxious when…” vs. “You always…”)

• If talking feels too hard, write it out in a letter or text

• Use a therapist or support person to practice this conversation in advance

• Remember: asking for help is a strength, not a weakness