Stages of Readiness for ChangeUnderstanding Where Someone Is — and How to Meet Them There

Change isn’t all-or-nothing.
It's a journey — and people move through different stages at their own pace.

Whether you're a teen in recovery, a parent supporting a loved one, or a therapist helping someone find their footing, the Stages of Change model offers a roadmap for empathy and support.

1. Precontemplation (“I don’t think this is a problem.”)

At this stage, the person doesn’t believe they have an issue — or they’re not ready to talk about it. They may be:

• In denial

• Defensive

• Afraid to give up the behavior

• Feeling pressure from others but not internally motivated

Support Tip:
Avoid pushing. Instead, stay curious and open. Ask gentle questions like,

“What do you feel works for you right now?”
“What worries you about changing — or not changing?”

2. Contemplation (“Maybe something needs to change… but I’m not sure.”)

Here, the person is ambivalent — they see pros and cons of change, but don’t feel ready yet. They may say:

• “I know this isn’t great… but I don’t know if I can stop.”

• “I’m scared to try and fail.”

Support Tip:
Normalize the mixed feelings. Help them explore both sides without pressure.

“It makes sense you’d feel torn. What would change make possible for you?”

3. Preparation (“I want to change — and I’m figuring out how.”)

They’ve started to shift their thinking and may be:

• Gathering info

• Talking to a therapist or doctor

• Setting small goals

• Telling someone they trust

Support Tip:
Celebrate small steps! Encourage action without judgment.

“I’m proud of you for even thinking about this. What’s one thing that feels doable?”

4. Action (“I’m working on change now.”)

They’ve begun making concrete changes — attending therapy, eating more consistently, asking for support, or using new coping tools.

Support Tip:
Offer praise, patience, and flexibility. Change isn’t linear — slips are normal.

“You're doing something really brave. Let me know how I can support you.”

5. Maintenance (“I’m building a new normal.”)

They’ve sustained changes for several months and are learning how to stay consistent, even through stress or setbacks.

Support Tip:
Encourage reflection and self-trust. Reinforce how far they’ve come.

“What’s helped you stay steady? What’s still hard?”

Possible Stage: Relapse

Sometimes, people return to old patterns — this is common in recovery.

It’s not failure — it’s part of the process.

Support Tip:
Respond with compassion, not criticism.

“It’s okay. You’re not back at square one. Let’s figure out what support you need next.”

Final Thought

Change isn’t a switch — it’s a cycle.
People move back and forth between stages. The goal is not perfection — it’s progress, self-awareness, and support.

Whether someone is just starting to think about change or deep into recovery, every stage matters. And every step forward counts.